Category: Relationships

Ephesians 5:22-33

10/23/2022

Teacher: Rusty Kennedy
Series: Ephesians

Rusty's Notes

Kids Getting Hurt Videos
Michelle Hernandez – Crossfit differences
Michelle Kennedy – His jobs & her jobs
Our society today, doesn’t want to acknowledge that we are different.
Actually they do, they want the genders to be equal and it has become a competition, with one side not saying much at all.
Men will shut down and step out of the way when women dominate.

EPHESIANS 5:18-21
18 And don’t get drunk with wine, which leads to reckless living, but be filled by the Spirit: 19 speaking to one another in psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs, singing and making music with your heart to the Lord, 20 giving thanks always for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, 21 submitting to one another in the fear of Christ.[1]

WIVES AND HUSBANDS
EPHESIANS 5:22-33
22 Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord,

The verb hupotassō (ὑποτασσω), “submit, subject,” is supplied from the preceding verse. (Wuest)‎
Submit in verse 21 is covered in the following verses:
1)Wives to Husbands (5:22-33)
2) Children to Parents (6:1-4)
3) Slaves to Masters (Employees to Employers) (6:5-9).
‎Submission has nothing to do with the order of authority, but rather governs the operation of authority, how it is given and how it is received.[2]
Did Jesus lose his authority when He washed His disciples’ feet?
No institution or organization can function without submission.
In fact, eliminate submission in any area of society and the result is utter chaos... (Examples? - LA Riots ('92), New Orleans during Katrina ('05), etc.)
Genesis 3:16 - He said to the woman: I will intensify your labor pains; you will bear children with painful effort. Your desire will be for your husband, yet he will rule over you.[3]
‎Desire - It is not Eve's emotional or physical desire for Adam (that was already present).
It was the desire to take control of her husband's authority.
This usurp of authority will be impossible.
‎It will only be through the power and teaching of the Holy Spirit that submission to one another takes place. This takes place through Jesus.
‎Bob Warren – “Fallout = Strong, unyielding wife produces a passive husband. Then down the road when the woman eventually needs a man to lead... there is only resentment. A woman being overbearing and strong will eventually play out and have no desire for the state of their current relationship due to her initial dominance.
‎True authority is built on truth.
Therefore, if any wife has currently placed themselves as the leader of their house, she does not have true authority.
True authority is attained only through submission to authority.
‎A wife's dominance prevents the God-ordained authority (the husband) from ruling and the children are angered without really knowing why.
Deficient discipline occurs and the kids are confused.
‎Submission to authority does not mean that one is inferior.
It is purely acknowledging God's order.
‎God created Eve from Adam's rib to make him complete.

23 because the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of the body.

This verse also teaches submission. Christ submitted Himself to death for our, the sake of the church.
Who is the church? From Acts 2 to the point of the End.
No wife minds submitting to a husband that has this attitude.
Who has ever ended up submitting to Christ and regretting it? No one.
Christ does not demand for us to submit to Him... He waits for us to choose to submit.
It is through His kindness and love (not His wrath) that brings us to a place of submission.
What happens when a husband refuses to lead (either out of choice or laziness)?
The family never gets to experience the huge benefits as result of true leadership.

24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives are to submit to their husbands in everything.

The only way this works is if the wife feels secure and safe in her place of submission.
In other words, the man has to love and protect her.
When this occurs, selflessness rules in the house, children are raised in a stable environment and the world has a model of how the family is intended to operate.

25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself for her

“The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother.” (Theodore Hesburgh).
This is not going to occur by the church teaching behavior modification or trying to control the outcome.
The only way possible is for the church to teach believers their identity and the Holy Spirit reveal it to them and let it play out.
When the husband becomes selfless and loves his wife (through servanthood), all are greatly benefited.

26 to make her holy, cleansing her with the washing of water by the word.

When a person is sanctified (made holy), he is set apart from his past unto his future.
This has application to marriage because when a man marries a woman, he sets her apart from her past and unto a future that he has promised to her.
There is no doubt that the spiritual growth of the wife is greatly enhanced through the godly influence of the husband.

27 He did this to present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or anything like that, but holy and blameless.

A bride typically wears white at the wedding, representing purity and holiness.
That doesn’t come from a point of behavior, but from a point of what Christ has done in her.
His desire is for a glorious church, and He wants to love that church as a man loves his own bride.
This is not a performance-based relationship.
It is a knowing and understanding relationship.
What the husband knows and understands greatly impacts what the wife and kids know and understand.
It is imperative that the husband pays special attention to the wife's spiritual needs.
How does he do that? By taking care of his own first.

28 In the same way, husbands are to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.

5:23 - Says the husband is the head and the wife is the body.
‎5:31 - Says we are one flesh.
‎If a husband doesn't love his wife (the body) then can't love himself.
‎You will love your wife fully when know who you are yourself. ‎
‎Tony Evans – “Unless we’re talking about a case where a wife is deliberately trying to undermine her husband, when you look at a man’s wife, you should get a pretty good idea of what he thinks about himself.
‎‎If a wife is miserable all the time, maybe it’s because she is married to a miserable man.
If her countenance is bright, chances are she is being nourished and cherished by a loving husband.
Our wives are like mirrors, reflecting back to us what kinds of husbands we are.”

29 For no one ever hates his own flesh but provides and cares for it, just as Christ does for the church,

Society spends more money and time on caring for their own flesh than ever before.
There is no doubt that loving our bodies (earth tent) by taking care of them gives you added energy, vigor and fulfillment in life.
The same truth occurs when we take care of our wives.
We should marry to date rather than date to marry:
1. Words of affirmation - You did this when you were dating.
2. Quality time - Don't talk about doing it... just do it.
3. Giving gifts - "Just because I love you"
4. Acts of service - Doing the unexpected.
5. Physical touch - Nonsexual touch

30 since we are members of his body.

We share common life with Jesus... we are one with Him.
Do you realize who you are and what you have been given?

31 For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.

Genesis 2:24 - This is why a man leaves his father and mother and bonds with his wife, and they become one flesh.[4]
1) Both partners are to leave their homes (parents). You still care for them but you are no longer under their influence as before.
#4 & #5 reasons for divorce?
#4 - Mother of the bride
#5 - Mother of the groom
2) You become one flesh... Your bond is greater than a parent/child relationship.
Keep this a priority.
Cleave = glue

32 This mystery is profound, but I am talking about Christ and the church.

Mystery - the Jews and the Gentiles became one.
So it is with the husband and wife.
We become one when we are in Christ.
Hard for a husband and wife to become one in a marriage without Christ... it is impossible.

33 To sum up, each one of you is to love his wife as himself, and the wife is to respect her husband.[5]

If the husband loves his wife as himself, both being believers, the wife's respect should automatically follow.
Woman wants to be loved.
Man wants to be respected.
Love and Respect book.
Crazy cycle

1)Wives to Husbands (5:22-33)
2) Children to Parents (6:1-4)

3) Slaves to Masters (Employees to Employers) (6:5-9).

[1] Christian Standard Bible (Eph 5:18–21). (2020). Holman Bible Publishers.
[2] Wiersbe, W. W. (1996). The Bible exposition commentary (Vol. 2, p. 50). Victor Books.
[3] Christian Standard Bible (Ge 3:16). (2020). Holman Bible Publishers.
[4] Christian Standard Bible (Ge 2:24). (2020). Holman Bible Publishers.
[5] Christian Standard Bible (Eph 5:22–33). (2020). Holman Bible Publishers.

Colossians 3:18 - 4:1

6/19/2022

Teacher: Rusty Kennedy
Series: Colossians

Rusty's Notes

Does anyone know what the word “diflogo” means?

You don’t because I made it up.
There wasn’t a word that describes a word where the meaning of the original word has changed.
So, now I named it “diflogo”.
The word “thong” is a diflogo.
Fizzle: The verb fizzle once referred to the act of producing quiet flatulence.
Clue: Centuries ago, a clue (or clew) was a ball of yarn. Think about threading your way through a maze and you’ll see how we got from yarn to key bits of evidence that help us solve things.
Naughty: Long ago, if you were naughty, you had naught or nothing. Then it came to mean evil or immoral, and now you are just badly behaved.
Meat: Have you ever wondered about the expression “meat and drink”? It comes from an older meaning of the word meat that refers to food in general — solid food of a variety of kinds (not just animal flesh), as opposed to drink.
I want you to keep in mind the word “diflogo” as we read the passage today.

When Paul penned Colossians, the “household” consisted of three sets of relationships:
(1) husband and wife,
(2) parent and child,
(3) master and slave.
- Paul addresses each relationship and gives
instructions for each party.[1]

These relationships keep counselors in business today.

CHRIST IN YOUR HOME
COLOSSIANS 3
18 Wives, submit yourselves to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.

Submit (Webster) - to yield to governance or authority

Submit is a call to recognize and respond to the God-ordained authority of the husband.
61 years of Marriage – “I let him lead our family… although I had great influence on him.
This is where the diflogo comes into play.
The word submit, especially in this context of wife to husband is being changed in our world.
All of a sudden submission is a bad thing that doesn’t create equality.
The submission mentioned here is not that of a slave, as both men and women are equal partners in salvation (Gal. 3:28), but it does suggest a yielding and subjecting of the woman’s will to her husband in her role of godly wife (1 Peter 3:1–6).
It does not imply inferiority (Gen. 2:24 – one flesh).[2]
Submission does not diminish the equality or destroy the dignity of the wife.
Headship is not dictatorship or lordship.
Christ himself is the model for equality with God and submission to the one with whom he is equal (1 Cor. 11:3; 15:28; Phil. 2).
To function properly, any institution must have clear lines of authority and submission. The family is no different.[3]
Submission has nothing to do with the order of authority, but rather governs the operation of authority, how it is given and how it is received.
No institution or organization can function without submission. In fact, eliminate submission in any area of society and the result is utter chaos... (Examples? - LA Riots ('92), New Orleans during Katrina ('05), etc.)
When the Colts take the field this season… will there be one leader on the field at a time?
Matt Ryan & Darius Leonard (usually LB)
They are watching the enemy & reacting to them.
Baseball, you have a manager calling plays. Inside of that is the pitcher/catcher relationship.
Genesis 3:16 - He said to the woman:

I will intensify your labor pains;
you will bear children in anguish.
Your desire will be for your husband,
yet he will dominate you.

‎Desire - It is not Eve's emotional or physical desire for Adam (that was already present). It was the desire to take control of her husband's authority.
This usurp of authority will be impossible.
‎It will only be through the power and teaching of the Holy Spirit that submission to one another takes place. This takes place through Jesus.
Ephesians 5:22 – Repeat
I Peter 3:1-6 - In the same way, wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, even if some disobey the word, they may be won over without a word by the way their wives live 2 when they observe your pure, reverent lives. 3 Don’t let your beauty consist of outward things like elaborate hairstyles and wearing gold jewelry or fine clothes, 4 but rather what is inside the heart—the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. 5 For in the past, the holy women who put their hope in God also adorned themselves in this way, submitting to their own husbands, 6 just as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. You have become her children when you do what is good and do not fear any intimidation.[4]
Believe it or not, men find women attractive aside from their outward beauty.
Attractive is not always in reference to sexual desires.
An attractive woman to me is one who is decisive yet lets others decide as well, organized, joyful, supportive and needs support, leads and submits to authority.
Trust

19 Husbands, love your wives and don’t be bitter toward them.

The husband has the responsibility of loving his wife; and the word for “love” used here is agape—the sacrificing, serving love that Christ shares with His church.[5]
agapaō—means putting the needs and interests of others before your own.[6]
Christ submitted Himself to death for our, the sake of the church.
Paul commands that the Christian husband not be harsh with his wife. He is not to use his authority to be overbearing, critical, or bitter.[7]
The only way this works is if the wife feels secure and safe in her place of submission. In other words, the man has to love and protect her.
When this occurs, selflessness rules in the house, children are raised in a stable environment and the world has a model of how the family is intended to operate
The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother.
This is not going to occur by the church teaching behavior modification or trying to control the outcome. The only way possible is for the church to teach believers their identity and the Holy Spirit reveal it to them and let it play out.
What the husband knows and understands greatly impacts what the wife and kids know and understand.
A “root of bitterness” in a home can poison the marriage relationship and give Satan a foothold (Eph. 4:31; Heb. 12:15).
Tony Evans – “Unless we’re talking about a case where a wife is deliberately trying to undermine her husband, when you look at a man’s wife, you should get a pretty good idea of what he thinks about himself. If a wife is miserable all the time, maybe it’s because she is married to a miserable man. If her countenance is bright, chances are she is being nourished and cherished by a loving husband. Our wives are like mirrors, reflecting back to us what kinds of husbands we are.”
The Christian husband and wife must be open and honest with each other and not hide their feelings or lie to one another.[8]
As we walk with Christ in submission to Him, we have no problem submitting to one another and seeking to serve one another.
But where there is selfishness, there will be conflict and division.
If there is bitterness in the heart, there will eventually be trouble in the home.[9]
The only way the submission/love thing works is by understanding your identity.
The more you know who you are in Christ the more it will play out in the home… sometimes you need help.

20 Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.

Obedience is the simple process of hearing, understanding, and responding.[10]
The child who does not learn to obey his parents is not likely to grow up obeying any authority.
He will defy his teachers, the police, his employers, and anyone else who tries to exercise authority over him.
The breakdown in authority in our society reflects the breakdown of authority in the home.[11]

21 Fathers, do not exasperate your children, so that they won’t become discouraged.

The Christian father is not to overcorrect or harass his children, or they will become discouraged, which refers to “a listless, resignation—a broken spirit.”
To be discouraged as a child means to think things like, I’ll never get it right, or, All he does is criticize, or, He’ll never love me.[12]
Perception is sometimes reality… sometimes it is used for control.
Raising a child is like learning to drive a car… move from braking… to throttling the gas… slam on the breaks… sometimes you crash… cruise.

22 Slaves, obey your human masters in everything. Don’t work only while being watched, as people-pleasers, but work wholeheartedly, fearing the Lord.

Once again we use the word diflogo here.
The definition of slavery has greatly changed in its origination to what it is understood to mean today.
Not only American history, but world history has distorted the view of slavery because of its wicked practices.
Slavery was an established institution in Paul’s day. There were 60 million of them, and many of them were well-educated people who carried great responsibilities in the homes of the wealthy.
In many homes, the slaves helped to educate and discipline the children.[13]
Human - They were masters “according to the flesh.”

23 Whatever you do, do it from the heart, as something done for the Lord and not for people, 24 knowing that you will receive the reward of an inheritance from the Lord. You serve the Lord Christ.

A Christian servant owed complete obedience to his master as a ministry to the Lord. If a Christian servant had a believing master, that servant was not to take advantage of his master because they were brothers in the Lord.
If anything, the servant strived to do a better job because he was a Christian.
He showed singleness of heart and gave his full devotion to his master.[14]
Obey and serve genuinely… out of your identity.
Paul challenged them to consider the fact that their rewards were spiritual.[15]
Such rewards could not be taken away, and the real Master would pay them what really matters.[16]

25 For the wrongdoer will be paid back for whatever wrong he has done, and there is no favoritism.

Anybody ever feel like they have been ripped off or disrespected in their job?
Here Paul reminded them of God’s justice.

COLOSSIANS 4
1 Masters, deal with your slaves justly and fairly, since you know that you too have a Master in heaven.[17]

Masters is another diflogo… you can’t even call it a master bedroom or master bathroom anymore.
Although slaves did not receive salaries, their basic needs were to be met in keeping with the value of human effort, time, and life.
Such considerations would radically change the attitude of slaves to masters and of masters to slaves.[18]
Knowing who I am, redeemed, holy forgiven saint… causes me to live my life differently.
When I understand I am of great value I respond differently.

[1] Anders, M. (1999). Galatians-Colossians (Vol. 8, p. 332). Nashville, TN: Broadman & Holman Publishers.
[2] McNaughton, I. S. (2006). Opening up Colossians and Philemon (p. 72). Leominster: Day One Publications.
[3] Anders, M. (1999). Galatians-Colossians (Vol. 8, pp. 332–333). Nashville, TN: Broadman & Holman Publishers.
[4] Christian Standard Bible (1 Pe 3:1–6). (2020). Holman Bible Publishers.
[5] Wiersbe, W. W. (1996). The Bible exposition commentary. Wheaton, IL: Victor Books.
[6] Barry, J. D., Grigoni, M. R., Heiser, M. S., Custis, M., Mangum, D., & Whitehead, M. M. (2012). Faithlife Study Bible. Bellingham, WA: Logos Bible Software.
[7] Anders, M. (1999). Galatians-Colossians (Vol. 8, p. 333). Nashville, TN: Broadman & Holman Publishers.
[8] Wiersbe, W. W. (1996). The Bible exposition commentary. Wheaton, IL: Victor Books.
[9] Wiersbe, W. W. (1996). The Bible exposition commentary. Wheaton, IL: Victor Books.
[10] Anders, M. (1999). Galatians-Colossians (Vol. 8, p. 333). Nashville, TN: Broadman & Holman Publishers.
[11] Wiersbe, W. W. (1996). The Bible exposition commentary. Wheaton, IL: Victor Books.
[12] Anders, M. (1999). Galatians-Colossians (Vol. 8, p. 333). Nashville, TN: Broadman & Holman Publishers.
[13] Wiersbe, W. W. (1996). The Bible exposition commentary. Wheaton, IL: Victor Books.
[14] Wiersbe, W. W. (1996). The Bible exposition commentary. Wheaton, IL: Victor Books.
[15] Melick, R. R. (1991). Philippians, Colossians, Philemon (Vol. 32, p. 318). Nashville: Broadman & Holman Publishers.
[16] Melick, R. R. (1991). Philippians, Colossians, Philemon (Vol. 32, p. 318). Nashville: Broadman & Holman Publishers.
[17] Christian Standard Bible (Col 3:18–4:1). (2020). Holman Bible Publishers.
[18] Melick, R. R. (1991). Philippians, Colossians, Philemon (Vol. 32, p. 319). Nashville: Broadman & Holman Publishers.

Ephesians 5:22-33

Rusty's Notes

Colossians 3:18 - 4:1

Rusty's Notes

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