Review:

• We left off at the 1st 9 verses in Chapter 7 where Paul was encouraging married people to have sex with each other and no one else (inside of marriage).
• Remember there were a group of people who were promoting celibacy at the time.
• I realize in this room we have married people, we have divorced people, we have remarried people, we have widows/widowers and we have single people.
• We are not viewed based upon our marital status but viewed based upon our identity in Jesus.
• There is no condemnation here so don’t start feeling uncomfortable here… just process with us.
  
  

ABOUT MARRIED PEOPLE
1 CORINTHIANS 7
10 To the married I give this command—not I, but the Lord—a wife is not to leave her husband. 11 But if she does leave, she must remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband—and a husband is not to divorce his wife.

• Paul is literally saying, “work things out”
• Top 3 reasons for divorce…
• These are only symptoms… root issue is selfishness.

12 But I (not the Lord) say to the rest: If any brother has an unbelieving wife and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. 13 Also, if any woman has an unbelieving husband and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce her husband.

• Now we are talking about mixed marriages in faith.

14 For the unbelieving husband is made holy by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is made holy by the husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is they are holy.

• This has to be referring to behavior and not salvation.
• Because the next verses are in reference to salvation.
• The influence of one’s nature (whether sinful or new) has a great impact on others in the house.
• Generational sin vs generational holiness
• My Mother had a great impact on the behavior of her family.
• They respected her enough to behave one way when they were around her and another way when they were not around her.
• They knew the difference.
• Again, it comes down to selfishness – “What I want, when I want it.”
• “What you want when you want it.” Will destroy you.
• “I don’t want to do that.” Will destroy you.
• Jesus came to say life is about others.
• It only came down to it being about Jesus because he gave every ounce of His life to others.

15 But if the unbeliever leaves, let him leave. A brother or a sister is not bound in such cases. God has called you to live in peace.

• Jesus’ “exception clause” in Matthew 19:19 (adultery or sexual unfaithfulness)
• This wasn’t even in Jesus’ teachings on divorce (Jesus taught in Mark 10, in the parallel passage in Matt 19, and in a shorter segment of the Sermon on the Mount in Matt 5: Marriage is designed to be for life.[1])

16 Wife, for all you know, you might save your husband. Husband, for all you know, you might save your wife.

• A husband or wife cannot actually save (in faith) their spouse but they can definitely lead/point them to salvation… usually through much prayer and modeling.

 
VARIOUS SITUATIONS OF LIFE
17 Let each one live his life in the situation the Lord assigned when God called him. This is what I command in all the churches.

• “Blossom where you are planted”
• Just because you become a believer in Jesus, doesn’t mean you have to change your current situation.
• Learn how to live out of your new heart in your present situation (unless it is immoral or unethical… then the Spirit will lead you out of that… possibly).

18 Was anyone already circumcised when he was called? He should not undo his circumcision.

• Young Jewish boys who had been dispersed among the Greeks competed in Athletics in the nude.
• Epispasm – grafting of skin around the penis.
• The whole purpose of circumcision was because it signified something that could not be undone.

Was anyone called while uncircumcised? He should not get circumcised. 19 Circumcision does not matter and uncircumcision does not matter. Keeping God’s commands is what matters.

• The certain amount of skin around one’s private parts has nothing to do with one’s obedience to God[2]
• How does one keep God’s commands?
• Naturally… new nature… want to… walk by the Spirit.

20 Let each of you remain in the situation in which he was called. 21 Were you called while a slave? Don’t let it concern you. But if you can become free, by all means take the opportunity. 22 For he who is called by the Lord as a slave is the Lord’s freedman. Likewise, he who is called as a free man is Christ’s slave. 23 You were bought at a price; do not become slaves of people.

• You are free to be free.
• Paul is not saying that you must always stay a slave because you were when you received salvation.
• If you have opportunity to be free (from a specific job) then take it.

24 Brothers and sisters, each person is to remain with God in the situation in which he was called.

• “Blossom where you are planted” again.

 
ABOUT THE UNMARRIED AND WIDOWS
25 Now about virgins (celibacy): I have no command from the Lord, but I do give an opinion as one who by the Lord’s mercy is faithful.

• Paul never heard anything from Jesus’ teachings (that was revealed to him) anything concerning virgins or practicing of celibacy.
• But he does affirm the Spirit leading him to speak his opinion about this specific issue.

26 Because of the present distress, I think that it is good for a man to remain as he is.

• Married or single.

27 Are you bound to a wife? Do not seek to be released. Are you released from a wife? Do not seek a wife. 28 However, if you do get married, you have not sinned, and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. But such people will have trouble in this life, and I am trying to spare you.

• Paul is not saying that if you get married, you are going to have trouble… and he is trying to warn them.
• He explains his thought process.

29 This is what I mean, brothers and sisters: The time is limited, so from now on those who have wives should be as though they had none, 30 those who weep as though they did not weep, those who rejoice as though they did not rejoice, those who buy as though they didn’t own anything, 31 and those who use the world as though they did not make full use of it. For this world in its current form is passing away.

• Paul is all about the return of Jesus be imminent.
• What we do in our personal lives is secondary to the mission of the Good News.

32 I want you to be without concerns. The unmarried man is concerned about the things of the Lord—how he may please the Lord. 33 But the married man is concerned about the things of the world—how he may please his wife--34 and his interests are divided. The unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the things of the Lord, so that she may be holy both in body and in spirit. But the married woman is concerned about the things of the world—how she may please her husband. 35 I am saying this for your own benefit, not to put a restraint on you, but to promote what is proper and so that you may be devoted to the Lord without distraction.

• Paul is highly recommending those who are single and have undivided time to devote themselves to the things of the Lord because He is returning soon.

 
36 If any man thinks he is acting improperly toward the virgin he is engaged to, if she is getting beyond the usual age (peak) for marriage, and he feels he should marry—he can do what he wants. He is not sinning; they can get married.

• This statement is made in relation to the pro-celibacy community.
• They had an agenda and were being aggressive with it.
• Shaming people who were marrying.

37 But he who stands firm in his heart (who is under no compulsion, but has control over his own will) and has decided in his heart to keep her as his fiancée, will do well. 38 So, then, he who marries his fiancée does well, but he who does not marry will do better.

• This sounds like Paul is affirming the pro-celibacy campaign but in actuality he is supporting his own life decisions.

39 A wife is bound as long as her husband is living. But if her husband dies, she is free to be married to anyone she wants—only in the Lord.

• Remember that Christianity is new to the people.
• This is one of the issues with this whole discussion.
• They were coming believers after their marriage.
• But if a believer becomes widowed they should marry someone in the faith.

40 But she is happier if she remains as she is, in my opinion.

• Again, Paul is saying, “I never heard Jesus teach this… but I am listening to the Spirit inside of me.”

And I think that I also have the Spirit of God.[3]

• The pro-celibacy people were saying they were led by God to promote this way of life.
• Paul is simply saying, “I am pretty sure I can hear the Spirit of God as well.”

 

• But why these two exceptional cases?
• It may be that they both relate to what constitutes a marriage in God’s eyes, going right back to Gen 2:24: “A man shall leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife”—the transfer of ultimate human allegiance from parents to spouse—“and the two will become one flesh” (the unique sexual intimacy that follows).
• Adultery destroys the second of those two criteria.
• Abandonment with no intention to return destroys the first.
• It may be, therefore, that Jesus and Paul recognized that they really aren’t giving permission for divorce; they’re merely acknowledging that in these two situations, a rupture so serious has occurred that the marriage does not necessarily continue to exist, even if legally it does until papers are served[4]
• Divorce happens long before legal papers are signed.
• We are prone to think that a change in circumstances is always the answer to a problem.
• But the problem is usually within us and not around us.
• The heart of every problem is the problem in the heart.
• I have watched couples go through divorce and seek happiness in new circumstances, only to discover that they carried their problems with them.
• A Christian lawyer once told me, “About the only people who profit from divorces are the attorneys!”[5]

 

• If Jesus were intending to give a comprehensive list of all legitimate reasons for divorce, then Paul contradicts Him by adding one.
• And if Paul were intending to give a comprehensive list of all possible reasons for divorce, then he failed to acknowledge the one that Jesus already gave.
• This discloses that we can’t say, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that there are no other situations where a divorce might not be the lesser of evils, and if we were to ask when such situations might be, we would want to look for a situation where, in reality a marriage is beyond repair.
• Very, very often one individual looking for a divorce makes that claim, when many people close to the individual can see all kinds of possible ways that there could be reconciliation and there could be intervention and there could be transformation.
• As a Christian leader… and pastor, I am always cautious to not endorse a divorce, and certainly if the two biblical criteria are not met.
• But on the other hand, we need to leave the door open for the possibility that there may on occasion be extreme situations where that is the case, and the person making the decision is the one who has to answer before God, not we ourselves.
• We lay out the Scripture’s teaching as best as we can, and we leave them to make a decision. And in those tough instances, we offer our support for them, however they decide.[6]

[1] Blomberg, C. L. (2017). NT334 Book Study: Paul’s First Letter to the Corinthians. Bellingham, WA: Lexham Press.
[2] Blomberg, C. L. (2017). NT334 Book Study: Paul’s First Letter to the Corinthians. Bellingham, WA: Lexham Press.
[3] Christian Standard Bible. (2020). (1 Co 7:10–40). Nashville, TN: Holman Bible Publishers.
[4] Blomberg, C. L. (2017). NT334 Book Study: Paul’s First Letter to the Corinthians. Bellingham, WA: Lexham Press.
[5] Wiersbe, W. W. (1996). The Bible exposition commentary (Vol. 1, p. 592). Wheaton, IL: Victor Books.
[6] Blomberg, C. L. (2017). NT334 Book Study: Paul’s First Letter to the Corinthians. Bellingham, WA: Lexham Press.

• We concluded last week at Luke 17 with Jesus answering a question about end times and His Second Coming.

• He continues this thought through the beginning of Luke 18 with a couple of parables.
• Jesus specifically is teaching about prayer because it will become important for the Jews.
  
  

Luke 18
THE PARABLE OF THE PERSISTENT WIDOW
1 Now he told them a parable on the need for them to pray always and not give up. 2 “There was a judge in a certain town who didn’t fear God or respect people. 3 And a widow in that town kept coming to him, saying, ‘Give me justice against my adversary.’
4 “For a while he was unwilling, but later he said to himself, ‘Even though I don’t fear God or respect people, 5 yet because this widow keeps pestering me, I will give her justice, so that she doesn’t wear me out by her persistent coming.’”
6 Then the Lord said, “Listen to what the unjust judge says. 7 Will not God grant justice to his elect who cry out to him day and night? Will he delay helping them? 8 I tell you that he will swiftly grant them justice. Nevertheless, when the Son of Man comes, will he find faith on earth?”

• This parable is in reference to the Second Coming of Jesus and saving the remnant of Jews that is left and being pursued by the Antichrist at the end of the Tribulation.

 
THE PARABLE OF THE PHARISEE AND THE TAX COLLECTOR
9 He also told this parable to some who trusted in themselves that they were righteous and looked down on everyone else: 10 “Two men went up to the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. 11 The Pharisee was standing and praying like this about himself: ‘God, I thank you that I’m not like other people—greedy, unrighteous, adulterers, or even like this tax collector. 12 I fast twice a week; I give a tenth of everything I get.’
13 “But the tax collector, standing far off, would not even raise his eyes to heaven but kept striking his chest and saying, ‘God, have mercy on me, a sinner!’

• Repentance + Faith = Salvation

14 I tell you, this one went down to his house justified rather than the other; because everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, but the one who humbles himself will be exalted.”[1]

• God is more concerned about the condition of your heart rather than what you are doing.

 
The subject of divorce:

• You are not going to find all your answers in the next 20-30 minutes.
• We will not cover all the Scriptures on divorce
• If you are considering divorce… seek wise counsel
• Don’t look for people to affirm what you want to do.

 
THE QUESTION OF DIVORCE
Matthew 19
1 When Jesus had finished saying these things, he departed from Galilee and went to the region of Judea across the Jordan. 2 Large crowds followed him, and he healed them there. 3 Some Pharisees approached him to test him. They asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife on any grounds?”

• Deuteronomy 24:1 - “If a man marries a woman, but she becomes displeasing to him because he finds something indecent about her, he may write her a divorce certificate, hand it to her, and send her away from his house.” [2]
• Mishna (Page 321) Gittin 9.10

The School of Shammai say: A man may not divorce his wife unless he has found unchastity in her, for it is written, Because he hath found in her indecency in anything.
And the School of Hillel say: [He may divorce her] even if she spoiled a dish for him, for it is written, Because he hath found in her indecency in anything.
4 “Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that he who created them in the beginning made them male and female,” 5 and he also said, “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two will become one flesh? 6 So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined together, let no one separate.”

• Instead of going back to Deuteronomy, Jesus went back to Genesis.
• What God did when He established the first marriage teaches us positively what He had in mind for a man and a woman.
• If we build a marriage after God’s ideal pattern, we will not have to worry about divorce laws.[3]
• It is between man and woman…
• Not man and his job…
• Not woman and her children…
• I choose to journey with my wife the rest of my days here on this earth.
• We reproduced children so they could do the same.
• For the last 24 years and 25 days, we have prepared our marriage for this very day.
• We are one flesh!

  
7 “Why then,” they asked him, “did Moses command us to give divorce papers and to send her away?”
8 He told them, “Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because of the hardness of your hearts, but it was not like that from the beginning. 9 I tell you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another commits adultery.”

• Jeremiah 3:6-10 – 6 In the days of King Josiah the Lord asked me, “Have you seen what unfaithful Israel has done? She has ascended every high hill and gone under every green tree to prostitute herself there. 7 I thought, ‘After she has done all these things, she will return to me.’ But she didn’t return, and her treacherous sister Judah saw it. 8 I observed that it was because unfaithful Israel had committed adultery that I had sent her away and had given her a certificate of divorce. Nevertheless, her treacherous sister Judah was not afraid but also went and prostituted herself. 9 Indifferent to her prostitution, she defiled the land and committed adultery with stones and trees. 10 Yet in spite of all this, her treacherous sister Judah didn’t return to me with all her heart—only in pretense.”

This is the Lord’s declaration. [4]

• The Jews will return to the Lord at His Second Coming.

 

• Malachai 2:10-16
  10     “Do we not all have one father? Has not one God created us? Why do we deal treacherously each against his brother so as to profane the covenant of our fathers?

11     “Judah has dealt treacherously, and an abomination has been committed in Israel and in Jerusalem; for Judah has profaned the sanctuary of the Lord which He loves and has married the daughter of a foreign god.
12     “As for the man who does this, may the Lord cut off from the tents of Jacob everyone who awakes and answers, or who presents an offering to the Lord of hosts.

1.     “This is another thing you do: you cover the altar of the Lord with tears, with weeping and with groaning, because He no longer regards the offering or accepts it with favor from your hand.

14     “Yet you say, ‘For what reason?’ Because the Lord has been a witness between you and the wife of your youth, against whom you have dealt treacherously, though she is your companion and your wife by covenant.
15     “But not one has done so who has a remnant of the Spirit. And what did that one do while he was seeking a godly offspring? Take heed then to your spirit, and let no one deal treacherously against the wife of your youth.
16     “For I hate divorce,” says the Lord, the God of Israel, “and him who covers his garment with wrong,” says the Lord of hosts. “So take heed to your spirit, that you do not deal treacherously.”[5]

• Why does God hate divorce?
• What is divorce?
• The act of divorce is not a legal document.
• The act of divorce is everything that leads up to separation of one flesh.
• Singleness – Everything is done for yourself.
• Dating/Courtship – You learn to do things to gratify one that you choose to love.
• Marriage – You become one flesh and it is about gratifying each other’s needs.
• Sexual intimacy is that wedding gift that physically says, “we are one flesh.”
• The act of divorce begins when you start acting as a separated flesh.
• In other words, you go back to doing things that gratifies yourself rather than your spouse.
• As for the sexual intimacy… some of you just stop… because you don’t want to… you don’t take into account your spouse’s needs.
• Others will go back to self-gratification through porn (guys like pictures, girls like words so the will read romantic novels that cause them to create a relationship with their spouse in their brain that they can never attain).
• Some will find self-gratification in another person.
• The self-gratification of intimacy is just one aspect of the act of divorce.
• There is the lack of communication as one flesh.
• There is the issue of money and possessions that come into play.
• There is in-laws and family that interfere with you being one flesh.

And it all leads down a selfish road of doing everything for yourself.
 
10 His disciples said to him, “If the relationship of a man with his wife is like this, it’s better not to marry.”

• You can assume that the disciples grew up under the discipleship of the School of Hillel.

11 He responded, “Not everyone can accept this saying, but only those to whom it has been given. 12 For there are eunuchs who were born that way from their mother’s womb, there are eunuchs who were made by men, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves that way because of the kingdom of heaven. The one who is able to accept it should accept it.” [6]

• Jesus speaks about the life of celibacy.

 
THE QUESTION OF DIVORCE
Mark 10
1 He set out from there and went to the region of Judea and across the Jordan. Then crowds converged on him again, and as was his custom he taught them again.
2 Some Pharisees came to test him, asking, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?”
3 He replied to them, “What did Moses command you?”
4 They said, “Moses permitted us to write divorce papers and send her away.”
5 But Jesus told them, “He wrote this command for you because of the hardness of your hearts. 6 But from the beginning of creation God made them male and female. 7 For this reason a man will leave his father and mother 8 and the two will become one flesh. So they are no longer two, but one flesh. 9 Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”
10 When they were in the house again, the disciples questioned him about this matter. 11 He said to them, “Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her. 12 Also, if she divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery.” [7]

• With this statement, Jesus just changed the Jewish law by saying the wife could divorce the husband.

Romans 8:1 - 1 Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those in Christ Jesus, 2 because the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus has set you free from the law of sin and death.[8]

• I believe you have two choices:

1) Walk by your flesh (selfish)
2) Walk by the Spirit (live your life by another source)

• No one goes into marriage wanting divorce.
• Sometimes we walk in a season of flesh.
• Maybe, you just need some counsel in how to walk by the Spirit.

[1] Christian Standard Bible. (2017). (Lk 18:1–14). Nashville, TN: Holman Bible Publishers.
[2] Christian Standard Bible. (2017). (Dt 24:1). Nashville, TN: Holman Bible Publishers.
[3] Wiersbe, W. W. (1996). The Bible exposition commentary (Vol. 1, p. 68). Wheaton, IL: Victor Books.
[4] Christian Standard Bible. (2017). (Je 3:6–10). Nashville, TN: Holman Bible Publishers.
[5] New American Standard Bible: 1995 update. (1995). (Mal 2:10–16). La Habra, CA: The Lockman Foundation.
[6] Christian Standard Bible. (2017). (Mt 19:1–12). Nashville, TN: Holman Bible Publishers.
[7] Christian Standard Bible. (2017). (Mk 10:1–12). Nashville, TN: Holman Bible Publishers.
[8] Christian Standard Bible. (2017). (Ro 8:1–2). Nashville, TN: Holman Bible Publishers.