Yesterday I was teaching about the shepherds and focused on “peace”. In the teaching we talked about the shepherds and disciples being alone and experiencing fear (the absence of peace). One of the applications I made was the relationship between husband and wife. The man desires for woman to be near him. She doesn't have to talk, pay attention or dote on the man… she just has to actually sit next to him. Men desire this in their relationship with women. Men may have never thought about it, but once it is brought to their attention they have a tendency to agree. I've heard from several men after this teaching and they believed it was right on point and asked how they could make that happen more often.

This is an aspect of relationship that Dr. Emerson Eggerichs discusses in the book, Love and Respect. Here is some insight on the shouldering concept from the book:

"A. A husband wanting shoulder to shoulder friendship: "I respect your desire for a shoulder to shoulder friendship. I hope you trust me when I say this. So when I cannot break away from the kids to be with you while you (work in the shop, fish, watch football, etc), I hope you know I want to be with you. For example, I cannot watch the Sweet Sixteen Basketball Tournament tomorrow but what about the Final Four next week?” (Note: A wife needs to clarify with her husband that she is not neglecting his need for her to be with him as a companion. Further, she needs to make a good faith effort to do things with him shoulder to shoulder because it energizes him. Though some of this feels like a waste of time to her,
she needs to trust this touches the spirit of her husband.)

B. A husband who doesn't want a wife's shoulder to shoulder companionship: "I respect your desire for a best friend. I say this because I believe I have hurt you in the past by not being friendly and not accompanying you in activities important to you. I hope you can forgive me and give me another chance to simply be with you when you do some of these activities." (Note: A husband does not always want his wife to be with him. However, if he no longer expresses that desire, he is probably wounded and has given up on her being his friend. He sees her as a
mother to the children and caregiver to him but no longer a friend. He has concluded she does not like him, and he has lost energy in the marriage. Doing shoulder to shoulder activities can revive the marriage.)"

How do you make “shouldering” a reality in your relationship?
1. Being aware that it is a desire is the first step. Talk about this aspect of relationship that probably never has been considered. Use this article as a platform for discussing. Is this really a desire of yours? Does this happen at home? What would this look like in our relationship?
2. Intentionally create opportunities to “shoulder” your mate. Make sure the kids are in bed so you can have some time together as a couple. This may start out as an actual plan but hopefully will turn into a great habit. Create “our time” aside from “family time”. Don’t be ashamed about it. Let the kids know you desire “husband and wife time”. Make it happen… Yes, it does take some work on both parties.
3. Make sure you are still dating! Parents have to work at dating. Both of you be creative and take leadership. Plan the date all the way down to child care and then implement it. Have fun!
4. Create a standing date. It is good that everyone knows your “date day” and where you go consistently. They have a tendency to leave you alone while you are on your date.
5. Share your calendar on a family app. Mark your calendar with big X’s and do not negotiate these times. You have to make time for each other. No one else will do this for you.
6. It is good for your kids to see that the most important relationship in the house is the husband and wife. It is the one relationship that is still going to be in the house when the kids are long gone! When this relationship gets out of balance, it rocks the whole ship. If you put the kids at the top of the list even temporarily you are asking for trouble.
7. If you realize none or some of this is not occurring, be the one to take initiative to implement these simple ideas.

I am for you on this journey!

Rusty

You might want to read through my whole ranting before you click on any of the included links…
Here is the latest greatest controversy in the religion realm.
www.bpnews.net/BPnews.asp?ID=36196
www.DividedTheMovie.com.

Wow! Seriously? And we wonder why students are leaving the church in droves… Let’s be real… it’s not just teenagers. Adults and senior adults are leaving as well. This video is pretty typical of what is presented all the time in churches. There is much Truth (God’s Word) sewn throughout the video which causes people to believe there is validity to their research and opinions. There are many true and real statistics (and some that are not) which causes people to believe there is validity to their research and opinions. There is reference to history and past experiences which causes people to believe there is validity to their research and opinions. But it is full of agendas and "out of context" statements. Just like Sunday mornings. This generation is pulling back the curtain on the “great oz” of the institution and wants nothing to do with them. Yet many are still mesmerized by all the smoke & mirrors.

There are some great conclusions that are presented. I totally agree that the parents have the greatest impact on their own children. Parents cannot outsource or subcontract the raising and discipling of their kids to good people who they even trust. It just doesn’t work… if it does… it is only by the grace of God. It is Biblical that the parents are to teach their kids.

So, is the answer “worshipping together” on Sunday Mornings? Absolutely not! No! No! No! If the result of this documentary is to negate youth ministry/programs and promote family worship… they are still missing it.

I know this may sound arrogant… bitter… know it all… whatever… This is the world I lived in for most of my life. Serving as a youth minister for 15 years and now serving as a pastor to families… I have been there done that.

Of the list of videos on the www.DividedTheMovie.com site the most practical one is by Vodie Baucham (http://vimeo.com/28372823). I believe Vodie is spot on when he talks about the what the real issue is (31.5 mins into the video). He knows the parents have the greatest impact. He talks about importance of keeping the family together in worship. I think the editors used his video out of context to support their point of family worship.

Here is what I know and believe with all my heart. I will teach what I know. (Christ has redeemed me. I am forgiven. I live free of the Law but walk by the Spirit of God that lives inside of me and choose to obey the Law of Christ that reigns in me.) I then trust the Holy Spirit to reveal this to the men and women that choose to hang out with me… and not just on Sundays. It is not my responsibility to cause parents to “get it”. I pray that not only will I see more and more of this Truth every day, but my family and friends will see this truth as well. I pray that the Holy Spirit will cause them to believe it… I pray that they will trust the Holy Spirit to cause them to live it. When that occurs… the children are naturally taught on a day to day basis simply by watching their parents living it out and processing it as a family.

The Church has to wake up! We are absolutely in a battle and the tactic of the evil one is to consistently lie to us and keep us distracted. The institution and programs and videos like this are nothing more than distractions that emerge as light but lead to darkness. If it isn’t about the Biblical Jesus and what He has done for me and other believers… I’m really not interested.

Wayne Jacobsen stated it all very eloquently here… Read this!

http://www.story.house2house.com/2011/03/24/why-house-church-isnt-the-answer/

Trust me… you probably don’t want to waste your time on the above links (except Jacobsen’s)… as I did. Just stay focused on Jesus. He is what matters.
Right on Vodie… we have to stop focusing on changing the behavior of man and trust the Spirit of Truth will continue to save!

Rusty 

Last night, Michelle and I celebrated 25 years of marriage... Yes... 25 years together... the two of us. We started talking about the most memorable anniversary celebrations. They were #10, #13, #20 and of course #25 is still be created...

#25 - We had a little party in February to start the year and celebrating the year... Our waiter even sang "The Love Boat" theme song to us! Then we went to St. Elmo's  Steak House last night and everyone knew it was our anniversary. We have lived here in Indy for 22 years and had never eaten there before... check! Then we went to see "The Beaver" at the Indie Theater... come on... it's the Jodie Foster/Mel Gibson movie. I of course... way over processed the movie. Then we will wrap up our 25 year celebration with a Disney Cruise in October with our friends. So far we have recruited the Hilfikers, Tyners and Wards to go with us! Want to go too?

#10 - Michelle got some bed & breakfast place in Cincinnati that was off the beaten path but along the river. She took me to dinner on the river and to a Red's game. It was our first B&B so that was a little strange... but still made the list! I am pretty sure fireworks were involved too!

#20 - We stayed at Dan & Diane Horner's Lake House on Lake Shafer (north of Monticello, IN) for a few days. We actually drove to Chicago the first night and we went to a Cub's game at Wrigley field. My Uncle Kerry and Aunt Lou got us great seats on the 3rd base side. The second night, John-Mark & Angie Waters came up and hung out with us and we grilled out as we played on the water all day. The last night/day, our kids came up with the Tyner family and played on the lake all day.

#13 - This would have been 1999... just a year before "I Can Only Imagine" hit the airwaves... But the boys from MercyMe were here for Race Day and the Billy Graham Crusade. I was in charge of security on floor and all the follow up materials after the services so I recruited the fiercest team I could think of. But these events coincided with our 13th anniversary. So Michelle and I went to Tony Roma's for dinner and I had planned for the guys to come sing for us at dinner. So much to our surprise... during our dinner, each of the wait staff was bringing a single rose to our table and placing them in a vase. Mike Scheuchzer brought rose #11 to the table, Bart Millard brought #12 and Jim Bryson brought rose #13 in his mouth and carrying his accordion. They then proceeded to sing, "You are My Sunshine" and another song. After "our moment" they got offers from other tables for birthday songs and such... They were making $$$. Of course, at that time, they were playing for Taco Bell. Great memories!

We realize the best celebrations were with our friends... it is all about community. We are so thankful!

Dr. Warren C. Hultgren was my very first pastor... he set the standard. He was the Senior Pastor of First Baptist Church, Tulsa, OK where I attended all the way through high school (and the summers of my college years). My memories are few and shallow...

 1) As a child I came to worship and just like most other kids... slept on my Mother's lap. I think my mom appreciated that better than having to keep me quiet for 45 mins. Dr. Hultgren's messages were very deep and definitely adult focused. He received a great amount of public respect for his messages. At some point I woke up and began to hear the Truth he spoke.

 2) Dr. Hultgren was golfing buddies with my Grandpa, Brownie Brunkow.

 3) Dr. Hultgren and his wife Wanda would come over to my grandparents house quite often and he and I would go in the back room and play pool on the snooker table. I know they always talked about me beating him but who knows if I did or he just let me. Grandpa's pool table was like today's PS3 for my son. I spent many hours on that thing. I sure thought I beat him every time.

 4) At eight years old, I walked down the aisle of the church (right behind my sister, Heidi) and asked Jesus to be my Redeemer. Dr. Hultgren led us in a prayer. This was during a Stalnaker (sp?) Crusade. I think it was Youth Hot Dog night... crazy what the brain recalls from childhood years!

 5) But my best recollection was in January 1989. I was living in Dallas and just completed my seminary degree. I was ready to serve in a church. I had two churches that were pursuing me. Circle Drive Baptist Church in Colorado Springs and Northside Baptist Church in Indianapolis. I was flying to both places within a weeks time with Michelle and trying to decide where the Lord wanted me to serve. The Spirit led me to call Dr. Hultgren and get his advice. This was rare. I didn't frequently talk to Dr. Hultgren. It took some nerve to call him. I think I was probably looking for some kudos and just letting him know that I finished seminary. Sure enough he picked up the line. I explained situation to him thoroughly. I got the kudos I was looking for... I got a little more Hultgren pontification... and he basically told me this concerning my dilemma: "Rusty, just go to both places and check everything out and make sure to enjoy yourself. After you have been to both places, surely the Lord will show you where you need to go. And if he doesn't... call me back... and I will flip a coin for you!"

Are you kidding me Dr. Hultgren? A flip of a coin? My phone call ended up a little bittersweet. I was so thankful to talk to him and receive the encouragement from a man that most people highly respected... But a flip of the coin was going to determine the next few years of my life? Seriously? Thanks a lot!

I went to both places... upon our return... it was very clear. We were to serve in Indianapolis. No flip of the coin necessary... thank you Lord.

But being here in Indy for the last 22 years I have come to understand that Dr. Hultgren was right on with the flip of the coin thing. After listening to me and my dilemma... he knew the Lord would show me what to do. And even if He didn't, Dr. Hultgren was assured (although he didn't say it) that I was walking by the Spirit. And if I was walking by the Spirit then either choice was going to be OK. One may have been better than the other... but then I would have the opportunity to learn more lessons and the Lord would continue to provide for me. God's will is more like a parking lot rather than a parking space. As long as I stayed in the parking lot... I was going to be OK.

I am thankful for Dr. Warren C. Hultgren. He served the Lord... he loved my family. I can't wait to hang out with him again!

The story of the Bible is a story of grace.  It is the story of God's work in redeeming and transforming the hearts of sinful people like us.  As we read God's Word, the Holy Spirit enlightens our minds and hearts to begin comprehending the depths of His grace towards us.

But there is a war going on against grace.  Since the enemies of God hate Him and His children, they hate grace from the very core of their beings.  The world, the flesh, and the devil do everything in their power to try to snuff out God's grace in our lives.

The world tells us, You don't need grace.  "After all, you're a good person. You haven't done anything wrong!  You just need to believe in yourself and treat yourself right."  To hear this message, all we need to do is turn on the TV and listen to a few commercials.  "You deserve the best!" "Have it your way." etc.  Now you may not consciously buy into such ideas. Yet the lie behind them, "I'm a good person," can creep ever so subtly into our thinking.

The flesh tells us, It's all up to me!  "I've got to stay on my toes and work hard to keep up in the Christian life.  Of course Jesus loves me and died for me, but I'd better live up to the standard of a 'good Christian' so I can be worthy of His love."  This kind of striving leads to one of two results.  Either we grow prideful about what godly, spiritual people we are, or we burn out from trying so hard and end up defeated and depressed.

The devil tells us, There is no grace.  "God can't love you.  Look at what a mess your life is.  You might as well give up and do what feels good."  The devil loves to make us feel hopeless and ashamed.  And when we give in and indulge in sin to try to medicate our shame, he gloats and heaps further shame and condemnation on us.

But there is something called grace.  It goes against the world's system, the devil's lies, and the natural tendencies of our flesh.  But it is very real.  It is central to the being of God, and it is found in its fullness at the cross of Jesus Christ.  So how will you and I respond?  Will we keep holding on to the lies, or will we receive the riches of God's grace shown to us at the cross?

On January 5th, 2009 the Indianapolis Star editor decided to eliminate a 46 year tradition of the newspaper that was started by the Pulliam family that formerly owned the newspaper. They deleted the daily prayer. This decision outraged readers to the point that they reinstated it a few days later. But interestingly enough, the editors left the Bible verse that has graced the Star for many years alone; 2 Corinthians 3:17. Now the Lord is Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is Liberty.

If you want to find good news in the newspaper, look no farther than the masthead of the Star. Just below the name of the paper, everyday there is a reminder of the result of God’s promises and the Gift of Pentecost. God delivered His promise to people, the mystery of the gospel, “Christ in you the hope of glory.”

As Independence Day approaches and you consider the life you have, remember those who fought for our American freedom, but more importantly, remember the One who fought for you to enjoy true Liberty; Jesus. He didn’t come to put you under a new set of rules and regulations as some would erroneously lead you to believe. He came to set you free from the law and the tyranny of the evil one.

He not only was born a virgin, lived a sin free life, died on a cross according to prophecy, resurrected, witnessed by hundreds, but sent His Spirit to live inside the spirit of those who know Him. And if you have His Spirit (Romans 8:11), then you are free indeed. John Stark was a Revolutionary War hero. I don’t know whether he knew Jesus or not. (He did name his first son Caleb.) But Stark was all about freedom. He was not intimidated by an enemy that wanted to enslave him and his countrymen into their rules and regulations. So convinced of the principle of freedom, he was willing to risk everything along with his family for that liberty. Late in life, Stark was invited to a celebration of one of the battles he led. Unable to attend the celebration, he sent a toast that has been memorialized on New Hampshire’s license plates. Stark encouraged his friends of the battle, “Live free or die: Death is not the worst of evils.” This Independence Day, I encourage you to enjoy the freedom Jesus has given you. LIVE FREE!

When have you ever met with the corporate body of Christ on a Sunday Morning and watched not just one person... but two... bowl a PERFECT game? Yeah... we had an interesting day at Leavener today. This is race day in Indianapolis and our community tries to take advantage of that by cramming every annual event on this weekend. So today we had a Professional Bowlers Association Tournament taking place at Pinheads while we were meeting. We watched the perfect games occur before we left. That was pretty amazing... I can't even do that on the Wii!

On Friday, a few of our families traveled to the Cincy area to go to the new Creation Museum. I thought it was a pretty cool place. I was impressed with the museum and would highly recommend it. But while there, I noticed many different "Jesus" t-shirts. A couple of guys were wearing the shirt that was printed with "Not perfect... Just forgiven". I wanted to confront them and ask them if they got their shirts for half price because they were only half right. If they have faith in Jesus then no doubt they are forgiven. Colossians 2:13 says "And when you were dead in trespasses and in the uncircumcision of your flesh, He made you alive with Him and forgave us all our trespasses." Most Christians have very little problem with that truth.

But what about the "Not perfect" part of the shirt? That is not scriptural. Hebrews 10:14 says, "For by one offering He has perfected forever those who are sanctified." How do you justify that passage? Notice that it is past tense. It has already happened at the cross. It doesn't happen when we get to heaven. It is a done deal... NOW! Our spirit and soul have been redeemed and perfected as we watch the Brickyard 2008. What is being perfected is my flesh (behavior). Someday I will receive a glorified body that has been predestined for me and my behavior will perfectly line up with my already perfect spirit and soul.

As for me today... I truly identify in who I am in Christ and the Bible says I'm perfect. That is incredible news. That is way better than bowling a perfect 300!

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

That is even way better than smashing the French in swimming!!!

Rusty

My office is behind a bar that has some of the best boneless, buffalo chicken wings around. (Yeah, yeah, I know, it sounds like the guy that subscribes to Playboy for the articles.)

One night a friend and I went into the bar to get some wings to go. We were watching movies at the office and didn’t want the pizza the critters were eating. As we bellied up to the bar and waited on our order, we glanced around the smoky bar.

I said, “can you imagine what someone from our church might think if they happened to see us here at the bar?” “But look at the people, they don’t have smiles on their faces, they appear to be lonely and just hanging out.”

Seemingly, then the Spirit said, “This is where the church should ‘hang out’”. Why hang out in sterile church buildings when the world is desperately hanging out in other places. At nearly that same moment, I sensed the Spirit reminding me that I was the church, or part of it, and where ever I hung out, the church was open for business.

I can remember people quoting the verse “where ever two or three are gathered together in My name, I am there in their midst.” (Matthew 18:20) But it seemed like God put that verse in perspective that night. After Acts 2, the verse was even simplified, “where ever one or more are gathered, I am in their midst!”

You see in Acts 2 (Pentecost) the fulfillment of the mystery of the gospel occurred. (Colossians 1:27) The mystery was the Messiah would rule a kingdom within the lives of people. The Spirit of the Living God would take residence in the soul and spirit of people. No longer would a priest have to mediate an offering on people’s behalf, because the Great High Priest, Jesus, made the ultimate and final sacrifice. The world changed.

It was becoming clear in that smoky bar that night. The church should be where the Spirit leads. Amazing the Spirit led Jesus during his physical ministry to a lot of lonely places and people and undoubtedly many religious people were shocked that Jesus would be hanging out with the likes of a tax collector, prostitute, Samaritan or who knows what other lonely people He might have dared to hang with.

But when you come to think about it; isn’t it possible that the Holy Spirit will lead you in places that might be lonely? Isn’t it possible He will ask you to do things, help people or respond to situations that are not popular? Isn’t it possible that Jesus’ ministry on earth was a pretty lonely time for Him. I mean the 12 closest to Him had very little understanding about what He was about. They wanted power, position, sleep, food and number of other things that had little to do with the reality in which Jesus was living.

But the good news is that even if God calls you into a setting that might be a bit lonely, you will never be alone. Since the Gospel changed the essence of Matthew 18:20 by the magnitude of one, where ever you go, what ever you experience, the Spirit of the God that raised Jesus from the dead is there with you. He is your Comforter, Wisdom, Hope and a laundry list of other amazing adjectives. But thanks to God, you will never be alone again. And you can go where ever He leads you; even if it is a smoky bar for chicken wings! KYEOJ!

Keith Tyner

Today is Election Day and it is really a big voting day for our state. So I did my civic duty and took advantage of my rights as USA citizen and voted today. I voted for both men and women. Some of the people on the ballot I actually know as friends. Some I have never heard of other than a name on a sign in the middle of the median. One man on the ballot actually greeted me at my polling place this morning. So tonight the results will come in and it will affect my life somehow.

But let me tell you about two other men who came to campaign. I'm not talking about at my polling place anymore... I'm talking about Jerusalem. These men weren't running for any office. These men weren't interested in being elected. But they were interested seeing the lives of people to be changed... forever! The first man came to give testimony about the second man. The first man attracted your attention. He definitely was not the norm of the community. Let's just say that he stood out in a crowd. The people listened to this man intently because they knew he spoke the truth. They listened to every word as he talked about the second man who was to follow him. The first man confirmed and affirmed and reaffirmed the second man to come and the crowd bought it.

The second man eventually came and publicly declared that everything the first man said was valid and reliable. But get this... the second man wasn't coming to get everyone's vote. The second man came with the only intent of people to be saved. "Saved from what" you ask. Saved from death so they would have eternal life with him and his father. The crazy thing was... this was all the second man's father's plan. He was just being obedient to his father because he loved him and it personally involved him. It was through this second man that people were going to be saved. He campaigned for the people to see that he came to save them. But believe it or not... they had their heads stuck in the Bible and couldn't see the truth right in front of them!

The first man was John the Baptist. The second man is my Savior… Jesus. I didn't even have to vote for him. God sent Jesus, His Son, as a sacrifice for my sins, so that I would have the free gift of eternal life with them. The results are in… those "in Christ" have won!

Rusty

We did it again... Michelle and I looked at each other with that funny/weird look. The look of... "Can you believe this?" or "Is this really happening?" Then we just laugh. This adventure continues to be unexplainable and we are loving every minute of it.

The community of Leavener has been gathering on Sundays at Charlie & Vicky Ward's house since the first of October. We never imagined that we would be overcrowded. We could at least meet indoors over the Winter and then move outside around the pool for the Summer. I guess the Lord had other things in mind. In February, my family was bowling with the Tyners at Pinheads and I just started looking at the facility as an incredible place to meet on Sundays. I walked back outside and looked on the front door. Opens at Noon on Sundays... Perfect! I wonder if they would ever consider hosting a church on Sundays. I wonder how much this would cost!?! It never hurts to inquire so I walked into the office and talked to the receptionist. She listened and took down all my information. She said, "I will have the man in charge call you." He didn't call.

So two weeks later I returned and inquired again. The "man in charge" was not there again. But I got his e-mail address and explained our situation to him. He said that he would meet with me and talk about it. PROGRESS!!! So I sent that e-mail exchange to the four men on our board to initially inform them of what I was praying would occur. Immediately, one of them called me and said they got my e-mail. They went on to tell me that they were playing basketball that night in a league in Fishers and that two of the players on his team are co-owners of Pinheads. NO WAY!!!! Are you kidding me?

Needless to say... but Pinheads will be hosting Leavener on Sunday Mornings starting April 27th! Can you believe that? We are actually going to be meeting in the restaurant area which has recently been renamed, "The Pub at Pinheads." The children will be in the Play-a-Lot area with climbing walls and an indoor playground. I can't think of a finer facility to meet in for a church. I know that we will lose a lot of homey atmosphere by leaving the Ward's house but we have plenty of space in a very public setting. Pinheads has been very generous to us and allowing us to use their facilities to the max. Think about it... We can gather and do community worship, clean up and then sit down and order lunch! Does it get any better?

Michelle and I walked out of there today after being shown how to operate the complete facility. Not believing that this is really happening. That is when the look occurred. I can't explain it!

Rusty